When you first meet someone or are on a first
date the first few minutes can be awkward. If you are not an
outgoing person by nature or carrying on a conversation does not
come naturally to you then you need some help. Here are a few ice
breaker techniques to help get the conversation going.
1) Think of yourself as an interviewer
trying to write a story. The key here is to ask interesting
questions without sounding like you are interrogating someone.
Think in terms of what, when, why, how, and
where. For example if you are at a dance and see that someone is
enjoying themselves you might say "I notice you like dancing." "How
long have you danced" "What is your favorite dance?" Or "Did you
ever take dance lessons. When did you take them?"
People will always like to talk about
themselves. You can never go wrong asking them a question they know
the answer to.
2) Try a find a common interest as soon
as possible. If you met through a Christian dating service you can
feel relaxed to ask "where to you go to church, or what do you find
most meaningful in your life." If you know on their dating profile
they like sports lead with "what is your favorite sport? Or do you
still play football?"
3) Use their name early and often. People
like to hear their name. It will help you remember it if you say it
early in your conversation and repeat several times quickly after
that without it sounding like you are spamming them in your
4) Make eye contact even if you are shy.
Making eye contact will relax you and allow you to think more
clearly about what you want to say. It will also help you listen
better to what is being said.
5) Ask questions that can not be answered
yes or no. Do not say "Did you have a good day?" Say, Did anything
exciting happen at work?
6) Talk about things that you know
interest them. Find their hot buttons and zero in on those. Ask if
they have a pet. What kind is it? What is it's name? How long have
you had it? Or do you have any hobbies? How long have you worked on
cars? Do you have any favorite cars you have kept?"
Remember it is only natural for you to feel a
little uneasy at first. Try and quickly relax yourself and the
person you are talking to by asking genuine questions and being a
good listener. You will soon find yourself engaged in and enjoying
conversation and wondering where the time went.